i love you lucas
by freckledhazels
Summary: how do u throw away ur dream' thought jake. the thing is u don't. u keep ur dream close to ur heart. a sob story of broken dreams & lost hearts with people that always leave LEYTON JEYTON. pls R&R!
1. Prologue

**I love you Lucas**

Prologue

'_Do you wanna get married?' _

_Those were the words Peyton had said to him, the day Jenny had called her Momma._

_The words that should have left him in a state of jubilant rejoicing in which he would wrap her up in his arms and take her off to their happily ever after. This was the girl of his dreams offering to make all his dreams come true. However, he did not feel jubilee and he did not rejoice. Because those words left him with a choice, a choice that no man would ever wish to make. _

_A choice to take, or a choice to let go._

'_What's the matter Jake?' Peyton had asked when she had crawled out of his bed and her deep slumber. Was it in sleep that one hallucinated or was it in sleep that one revealed the truth of all one's deepest desires?_

_He shrugged and gazed out into the sky. How do you tell the girl you love that she doesn't love you, that she loves someone else and she doesn't even know it? _

_How do you push the one you love into someone else's arms, when she doesn't want to be?_

_When she thinks that she wants to be with you?_

_How do you crush your own dream willingly, forcefully? Like smashing your hand through glass that doesn't want to break and pounding the glass until it shatters before your eyes, cutting into your skin._

'_You talk in your sleep,' Jake said, looking away into the sky._

'_Really, what do I say?' she asked touching his arm._

'_You said "I love you,"' he replied._

_You said I love you, I love you Lucas._

_Come on, spit it out._

_Be a man._

_Just say it._

_Say it._

'_So?' she said, looking at him with her deep green eyes. 'So, Jake?'_

_Jake took a deep breath. 'So nothing,' he said smiling at her. 'I love you too Peyt.'_

_With that he took her into his arms and kissed her hair. _

_How do you push the one you love into someone else's arms, when she doesn't want to be?_

_How do you crush your own dream willingly, forcefully?_

_The thing is, you don't. Not when you risk the love of your life getting hurt again. _

_If she remembers, if she realizes, if she leaves…_

_So be it._

_It's way better than throwing her back into the fire, to get crushed again. To see her heart crushed into pieces would be an agony he wasn't ready to experience._

'_I love you Peyt,' he whispered. 'Let's get married.'_


	2. Chapter 1

Hey guys if you read my other fan fic _someday maybe_ my laptop crashed again so that's why I'm writing this one till it fixes which should b in the nest few days. I have a couple of chapters for _someday maybe_ on there already. I'm real excited about this fan fic though. It's been brewing in my head for awhile so I'm real glad to get it down. It's a less complicated story; I promise but it'll b good. 

p.s: I haven't written anything but Leytons and I'm not breaking the trend yet… keep reading I promise it'll be exciting

p.p.s: the lyrics are from the song _I'll be_ and it's real good.

Chapter 1 

'So what do you think of lilac?' Peyton said putting her arms around her fiancé's neck and kissing his cheek. Jake had never been much of a big talker, but he was especially quiet today as he leafed through the wedding booklets with what could only be described as a deep look of contemplation on his serious face.

'What's that?' he asked patting her arm.

'For the deco silly Jakey,' she said with a toss of her blonde locks. Jake glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. She looked so different this time she'd come to see him, not only happier, but in a sense freer, more carefree, more alive. And for Peyton Sawyer, that was a big deal.

She was prancing around his tiny apartment, her hands in front of her visualizing the deco arrangement.

'Maybe it's the new hair,' Jake thought to himself as he watched Peyton pull her cropped do behind her ears with a blue felt hair band. He sighed in a feeling of split emotion – happiness and anxiety.

'Peyton, Peyton,' he called walking over to his excitable fiancé. He took her hands into his and kissed them gently. He stared deeply into the green eyes that were usually so easy to read. She looked so happy, but…

'Yes Jake?' she smiled.

'Is… is this really what you want?' he asked bravely, trying to keep his voice from trembling.

Peyton looked up at the strong man in front of her. He loved her, she knew it. But why was he so uncertain of the way she felt about him? Why did he keep asking her, if not with his words, with his eyes?

'Of course Jake,' she said. 'I love you Jake, I do.'

'Alright then,' he said brightly. 'That settles it.' He dropped her hands and walked towards the front door.

'Where're you going?' Peyton asked running up to him.

'I…' he said kissing her on the edge of her nose. 'Am going to buy lilac ribbons. See ya' later wife-to-be.'

The door slammed shut and Peyton wandered happily over to the sofa. She flopped down heavily and smiled to herself in a pleased manner. Could life really get any better?

----------------

Lucas Scott pressed his foot on the accelerator and drove full speed ahead with Brooke's words pounding through his head and his heart pulsating in his chest.

_People that are made to be together will always find their way in the end._

'Don't let me down now good ol' radio,' he murmured under his breath.

_The **strands in your eyes that color** them wonderful  
Stop me and steal my breath.  
And emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky  
Never revealing their depth._

_  
Tell me that **we belong together**,  
Dress it up with the trappings of love.  
I'll be captivated,  
I'll hang from your lips,  
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above._

_  
**I'll be your crying shoulder,**  
I'll be love's suicide  
I'll be better when I'm older,**  
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.**_

And rain falls angry on the tin roof  
As **we lie awake in my bed.**  
**You're my survival,** you're my living proof.  
My love is alive -- not dead.  
Tell me that we belong together….

'_**You're always saving me**,' she said, her voice trailing to a weak whisper. Her eyes were white, her face pale and with every breath of hers he felt on his cheek, the fear that it would be the last he'd ever feel got that little bit stronger._

_What do you say to something like that? How do you answer "you're always saving me"?_

_It just comes naturally?_

_I don't mean to be a hero… I just happen to be here…_

_It just happens._

_I save you 'cos…_

I want to, Peyton. I save you because I want to… 

_I want to, Peyton. I save you because **I want to**…_

_Because I want to…_

'_**If I said I loved you right now, would you hold it against me… because I've lost a lot of blood**.'_

_The only time you could tell me what you really felt was when you were on the verge of death?_

_What about me… I couldn't even tell you the truth when you were on the verge of death._

_I couldn't even admit to myself the truth when you were on the verge of death._

_I couldn't admit the truth._

_I could never admit it, even to myself._

_So I just kept quiet._

'_Somebody's got to.' A joke. Watching her smile. Laughing feebly to yourself._

_I couldn't admit the truth._

_I could never admit it, even to myself._

_And now, it might be too late._

Lucas slammed his foot on the accelerator again; perspiration dripping from his forehead he realised that he couldn't recall what was the last thing he said to her, before she left for Savannah two months ago.

'How could I be so stupid?' he muttered to himself. 'How could I be so utterly blind?'

The trees, houses, cars became a blur around him as he sped along the highway, hoping to find his destiny, before it was too late.

--------------------------

Lucas parked hurriedly at the side of the road; he stepped out the car and slammed the door. Only to see Jake, walking down the steps of the porch. Jake stared at him wordlessly for a minute, as if he wanted to say something, do something, before walking off in the opposite direction down the street.

Lucas shook his head in confusion as he climbed up the stairs and pressed the doorbell.

The door swung open.

'Lucas!' Peyton cried embracing him warmly. 'What're you doing here?'

And so here it came, the lump in the throat, the wondering what to say, the loss of the right words.

'For a writer, you sure are at a loss for words at the crucial points in your life Scott,' he thought to himself.

'Come in, come in,' Peyton said hurriedly beckoning him to sit down. 'You want a drink? Let me get you an ice tea or something.'

Lucas linked his fingers together as he sat on the green coach and tried to re-phrase the words in his mind as he half-watched Peyton rush around the small kitchen. The apartment was small, a little run-down, but already Peyton's artistic touched were brightening up the place. He could tell easily that the few artworks were done by her – a portrait of Jenny, one of Jake and a simple cartoon park piece that hung over the sofa.

'Here you go,' Peyton said putting down the glass.

He took a big gulp of the ice tea for courage. 'I have something to tell you Peyton,' he said looking into her green eyes.

I love you.

You color up my life.

We belong together.

I want to, I want to save you for the rest of our lives.

I love you, Peyton.

'Me too!' she said eagerly, her eyes shining. 'I have something to tell you too…'

'Oh really?' he said. 'You… you go first…'

'No, you go first,' she urged.

'No, really, I wanna hear yours,' he said firmly.

Peyton eyed him with a lopsided grin. 'Okay,' she stuck out her left hand. 'I'm getting married… we're getting married, Jake and I.'


	3. Chapter 2

Hey guys reviews greatly appreciated. Tks for reading! Chapter 2 

'We're getting married, Jake and I.'

What do you say to something like that?

Do you continue to splurge out all what's left of your heart, leaving it on the table for everyone to see and judge?

Or do you suppress those welling emotions back down again, like you always do?

'Oh that's great! Congratulations!' he reached over to hug her.

'You guys have to come,' she gushed, her sparkling green eyes smiling. 'You and Brooke you'll come together right?'

Me and Brooke?

Oh yes, me and Brooke.

'Yeah, yeah, of course we'll come together, Brooke and I,' he cleared his throat. 'I suppose I better go…' he said fumbling for his car keys.

'You're not waiting to see Jake…' she said. 'He just went out… he'll be back soon…'

'Oh no I'm really in a rush,' he said standing up. 'I'm supposed to meet… to meet Brooke for dinner.' He walked over to the door and opened it.

'You take care Peyton,' he said turning around to look into those eyes. 'I'll be here for you… if you ever need me alright?'

Peyton looked at him curiously as she held the door open. She nodded softly.

'Alright,' she smiled sweetly up at him.

'Bye.'

'Bye.'

Peyton closed the door slowly behind her, in total oblivion to the heavy steps Lucas made down the front porch. In total oblivion to the desires of her own heart, except perhaps for a pang of unexplainable disappointment in her own sweet heart.

**Ring ring.**

'Hello?'

'Hey Peyt, it's Jake,' came the muffled voice on the other end of the line.

'Hey fiancé,' Peyton said smiling. 'You got the lilac stuff?'

'No… I… I thought? Oh…'

'You thought what? Come on don't make me nag before we get married!' Peyton cried. 'Go get them now! Love you!'

'Love you Peyt, I really do. Bye.'

'I really do love her,' Jake thought, hanging up the phone. When he saw Lucas, he thought it was over. He wanted to run over, to punch the guy, to fight for Peyton. But then he stopped himself, the battle's already over, buddy – and you know it.

But now?

'But I love her… and she loves me. Just maybe not as much as she…

I really love her.

That's enough isn't it?'


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

'_And here we have the happy couple, I present to you the bride and groom!'_

She could still see it now - a white hall full of the sounds of their friends and family members smiling, cheering, catcalling. The lilac ribbons hanging from the ceiling, the golden confetti on the floor, the smell of roses and champagne. His face, his smile, her hand to his lips, his arms holding her, his eyes telling her…

_I love you Peyt, I really do._

_Jake you didn't… you got them to play our song? But I hate dancing… Jake! Put me down! Put me down right now!_

_I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep 'cos I'll miss you babe, and I don't wanna miss a thing._

'_Cos even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do, 'cos I'll miss you babe, and I don't wanna miss a thing._

_Jake Jageilski, you really shouldn't attempt singing 'cos its just dreadful. Put me down! Okay! You can sing… better than… better than… Pete from Fall Out Boy alright?_

_Alright Mrs. Jageilski... but only if you promise to give me 1st choice for the remote **forever...**_

Chocolate truffles, cream cake – smearing it over his face. Him laughing, chasing her through the hall, kissing her in the back room.

Jenny in her pretty yellow silk bridesmaid dress, throwing confetti on the altar. Feeling what could only be maternal pride swelling up inside her heart.

And now…

Peyton threw their wedding photo album towards the window. The window smashed, glass fragments flying through the air. One piece cut her leg and she watched, almost in a trance, as a drop of blood dragged its way down her ankle. Glass was everywhere, but she stepped across it, half the things were broken in this room anyway. Like her hand phone, and the house phone, and the fax machine. She hated phones, she hated them, had thrown all of them against the wall, many times over until they split into a dozen pieces of gray disorderly segments into her lap.

_**Ring ring.**_

_Hello may I speak to Mrs Jageilski please?_

_Yes speaking._

_Mrs Jageilsk?_

_Yes, who is this?_

_This is Doctor Smith calling from Savannah General Hospital. Your husband's been in accident, could you make your way down here as soon as possible. _

_Peytie… what're they putting into Daddy? What's that green stuff?_

_It'll make him…make him better Jenny don't worry._

_Is that what the green stuff does? It makes him better? It's good medicine then, Peytie?_

_It'll make him better… the doctors say that… they… they know what they're doing… they… they'll take care of him._

_So the green stuff is good right Peytie?_

Everything green now made her feel sick. She threw furniture out the front door, onto the lawn. She tried pulling out the grass one night when Jenny was at Nikki's, but it started raining and she fainted due to exhaustion. She woke up the next morning, drenched through and had to be taken to the hospital. Where she threw up, 6 times in 3 and a half hours.

Peyton walked slowly over the glass pieces to the only intact drawer left in the room. The room was half-painted, half-stripped of wallpaper. It had been Jake's study, and Jake had loved green. It was empty now, except for 2 chest-of-drawers and one red study chair. She ran her finger over the chair, remembering leaning over the chair, spinning Jake around as he did his work on his green desk. Which had long been thrown out of the window she had just broken, of course.

She'd tease him for being so serious, he'd laugh at her, kiss her on the end of her nose. She's fall onto the floor, on some random velvet cushion and draw him. Every curve of his muscular arms, every line in his face as he frowned in concentration. She'd doodle as she planned where they'd go for their summer holidays – Tree Hill again? New York? Disneyland with Jenny!

He'd laugh at her, chuckling. His brown eyes telling her how much he adored her, beyond anything else.

_In a piece of tragic news, Jake Jageilski was killed in a hit-and-run accident yesterday evening. Mr.Jageilski had just come out of the house to by groceries for his family when he was hit by a car that came out of nowhere and sped off leaving him on the deserted road. Anyone with details of the accident should please contact the local police authorities at xxxxxxxx._

The smashed television set soon found its way onto the front porch.

Peyton opened the drawer roughly, inside was left a couple of bills, letters and a carefully wrapped present in lilac silk. She pulled off the silk, letting it drop to the floor and opened the white box. Inside was a white gold pendant with a simple blue card and on it the gold-outlined words:

_To my beloved wife on our 3rd anniversary, each day I know you it just gets better and better. Thank you, for promising to grow old with me, love your husband – Jake._

Peyton screamed, a heart-wrenching scream that felt like it drained every last score of suffering out of her. And when she was done, she screamed again. And again. And again. Until her throat felt sore with the repeated forced vibrations of her vocal chords. She collapsed, knees first onto the broken glass and splintered wood. She screamed, with no tears in her eyes, her eyes white and wide, her fists clenched punching onto the hard floor, over and over again…

'Peytie?' At the door of the room stood a 5 year old girl in a pink dressing gown sniffing, her eyes watery and scared.

Peyton stopped screaming and looked at Jake's daughter, seeing what shocked her the most – the expression of fear. She ran over and hugged her.

'I'm sorry,' she said hoarsely. 'Peytie's just not feeling so good at the moment…'

'It hurts Peytie,' Jenny sobbed. 'It hurts so bad…'

'I know…' she hushed, her voice raspy. 'I know…'


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The rain was pelting down on the rooftop heavily. Nikki rubbed her eyes, pulled on her dressing gown and ran down the stairs to answer the incessant ringing of the doorbell.

'Who could be at the door at this time of night,' she muttered to herself, as thunder crashed and lightning shot through the sky. It was past midnight and Nikki shivered as the blast of cold wind swept through the house.

She pulled open the door and cried out in shock. 'Peyton! What's the matter you're soaked!'

Peyton was standing there in a huge black raincoat but her head was bare and empty. She pulled open the raincoat without saying a word. There, under the raincoat, dry and protected lay Jenny asleep in her skinny arms. She thrust Jenny into Nikki's outstretched hands.

Nikki cradled her sleeping daughter with a puzzled expression. 'What…'

'I can't… I can't do it anymore,' Peyton sobbed. 'I can't take care of her… I see Jake in her… everyday…I…'

Nikki was dumbfounded. After Jake's funeral Peyton had insisted that visitation rights remain the same, she had assumed she wanted Jenny to remind her of him… but now…

'I'm sorry!' Peyton cried wringing her hands in front of her as the black raincoat dropped to the ground like a heap of dust. Water droplets dripped from her hair as she shook her head and hands violently. 'I have to go…'

'No Peyton,' she reached out to grab her arm. 'Come in, please. You're all soaked I'll get you…'

'No I have to go,' she stammered. Her whole body was shaking, in coldness, fear or pain – Niki couldn't tell which. 'You tell her that I'm sorry… and that I love her… that I just can't…not now okay?' Peyton's eyes were shining in the darkness, with tears of sorrow. 'Don't let her think I've left her, that I don't want her… okay?'

With those last words she ran off into the pouring rain and darkness.

'Peyton!' Nikki cried after her. Her footsteps splashed through the water and in a few minutes she was gone.

------------------------

Haley Scott pulled open the door of her little apartment and when she saw the visitor she screeched.

'Lucas Scott!' she cried pulling him close to her. She held onto him for so long that Lucas felt his neck craned in an awkward position.

'Okay Haley you miss me I geddit,' he laughed. 'Now let me go so I can breathe.'

'Lucas I'm so angry with you that if I wasn't so happy to see you I'd kill you,' she said exasperatedly. 'How long have you been back in Tree Hill?'

'I just got back,' he smiled. 'Brooke's gone to grab some food…'

'You and Brooke are such killers to get hold of!' she cried.

Lucas laughed heartily. 'How's everyone?'

So here it was, she was the one who had to break all the news.

'Luke,' she said pulling him inside. 'Sit down I… I need to tell you something.'

Lucas pulled off his Monc Blanc sunglasses as he sat down on the worn down sofa. Everything felt so comfy, so homely to be back in Nathan and Haley's apartment. But Haley's eyes were misty as she looked up at him.

'Jake… Jake he's gone Luke,' she said softly. 'He was in a car accident… he didn't make it.'

Lucas was stunned beyond belief. He'd been away for so long but he'd never dreamt that such a thing could happen. Was it really possible? Was it all just a big joke that Haley was going to end in the next few seconds?

Apparently not.

'I…' Luke fumbled for the words. 'Why did nobody…'

'We tried,' Haley said softly. 'It's just you and Brooke…'

'Brooke and I haven't spent the time with things that really mattered,' he said firmly. 'And now it's too late.'

'Luke, no…' Haley cut in to comfort him, but there weren't really many words to say. Everything he said had truth in it, partly anyway.

Being either the Chief Executive Officer of a huge shipping enterprise or the Fashion Executive Manager of one of the leading American brands didn't leave much room for high school friends living many miles away.

Lucas leant over, his head in his hands. Images began to fly through his mind, Jake on the basketball court; Jake with Jenny; Jake at his wedding with Peyton. Peyton…

'How's Peyton?' he said suddenly sitting up.

'Not so good…' Haley said in a sorrowful tone. 'I tried to help her Luke, after the funeral I called almost every day. Many times she didn't pick up my call, she wouldn't let me, or anyone else in.' Haley sighed. 'I haven't managed to contact her for the past fortnight… I was hoping you or Brooke could go down and check on her? Maybe you'd help…'

'We'll go down now,' Lucas interrupted. 'Once Brooke's back we'll drive down to Savannah straight away.'


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Lucas pushed his foot on the accelerator, his eyebrows furrowed with worry as they sped along the highway towards Savannah. A bead of sweat dripped down his forehead as he tried to calm his racing mind down.

'You alright Tiger?' Brooke asked placing her hand on his. Lucas turned and gave a tight-lipped preoccupied smile. In the back of his mind he kept asking himself the same questions… why didn't he call more often? Why didn't he visit? Why didn't he do something.

Suddenly the successes of the past three years that had seemed so great an hour ago were evaporating into nothingness through his fingers. When he left Tree Hill for New York after Peyton's wedding, he never dreamt that things would end up like this…

Jake gone and Peyton….

In a pain where it seemed nobody could reach her…

'You're blaming yourself for not reaching out to her…' Brooke said softly as she watched the landscape go by.

'I just…' Lucas shrugged. 'I just wish that…'

'It's not your fault,' she said. 'You didn't know… but now we do… we'll do something alright?'

Lucas didn't respond. He only hoped that it wasn't too late.

------------------------

The BMW pulled up beside the simple white house Jake and Peyton had acquired together in the past few years. Lucas stepped out of the car and walked briskly up the front steps with Brooke following close behind. He was so determined he failed to notice the state of the front garden or the broken roof tiles, but Brooke did. She looked around anxiously and worry crept into her heart for her former best friend. Lucas pressed the bell and waited.

After a few minutes of waiting he pressed the bell again. There was still no response.

'You think she's alright?' Brooke questioned worriedly.

Lucas pressed another few times. He knocked on the door loudly. 'Peyton?' he shouted.

Deciding not to wait any longer he motioned for Brooke to step back. Using all his strength he forced open the door.

There was a terrible smell in the house. In the living room the green carpet was torn up, as if by fingernails and half-broken plates of half-eaten food were scattered over the room. The kitchen sink was full of dirty plates and broken wine bottles, beer cans, shot glasses.

'Peyton?' he shouted again. There was no response. Brooke gasped in shock at the state of the house, paintings and photographs torn to shreds with the frames on the floor. Broken glass all over the place. Brooke rushed ahead of him checking all the ground floor rooms. 'Peyton?' she called anxiously.

Lucas raced up the stairs. He pushed open the door of the study – broken furniture, shattered glass, torn portraits of Jake and a landscape piece. He moved to the next room, a child's bed a chest of drawers – dirty but still intact. The bathroom – mirror shattered, bathtub full of dirty water, white pills scattered over the sink.

'No Peyt…' he whispered to himself as he ran to the last room.

He kicked open the door.

An empty medicine bottle. A broken drinking glass. Water spilt on the floor.

Sprawled out on the floor lay Peyton, unconscious – her fists clenched, her mouth hanging open in a horrible fashion.

Lucas rushed forward and placed his fingers on her neck, only to feel her non-existent pulse. 'Brooke!' he shouted. 'Call 911!'

Brooke came running to the doorway and stood in shock at the sight of Lucas pumping his hands up and down on Peyton's lifeless chest.

'Brooke! Call 911!' he shouted urgently.

Brooke stumbled down the stairs to find the phone.

'Come on Peyt,' he shouted. 'You have to wake up… wake up…'


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

Lucas paced up and down the Savannah General Hospital wing oblivious to the scenes around him. All his thoughts were focused on a certain blonde woman whose life was hanging in the balance. Brooke Davis was sitting down clutching onto her bag and for one of the very few times in her life, praying with all her heart. In Tree Hill Nathan and Haley Scott were hugging each other, thankful for the lives they had but worried for the life of a girl they both loved and wondering what on earth could happen next.

Inside the emergency room, doctors were fighting to save the life of a young woman who still had much of her life to live.

Hours passed but they seemed like years to Lucas and Brooke in the waiting room, waiting for the arrival of the doctor, hoping that his words would bring joy and not sorrow.

A tall doctor came out in shrubs and at first glance Lucas felt his heart almost jump out of his throat. What news would those serious eyes bring?

He cleared his throat as he approached them. 'She's going to make it,' he said.

They both heaved a huge sigh of relief. 'She'll need lots of rest,' he said. 'But she's going to be alright.'

Lucas could have kissed him, he shook his hand firmly and forever remembered the face of the man who had saved Peyton's life. If he had been coherent enough to get the words out, that man would have told him the one who really deserved that credit was himself. If he had been five minutes later, Peyton might not have been so lucky.

'She's just regained consciousness,' he said. 'She asked to see Lucas.' He tapped Lucas on the arm. 'But not for too long, she's extremely weak.'

Lucas looked back at Brooke who smiled and motioned for him to go in.

Pushing open the door Lucas stepped into the painfully white ward. Peyton lay there on the bed, a tube in her nose and arm. Her hair was pulled away from her paper-white face and her lips were pale. As she caught sight of Lucas she smiled weakly.

Lucas felt tears spring to his eyes which he hastily wiped away. He moved forward to grab her hand, 'you scared me so Peyt,' he choked. He reached over to stroke her face and noted the sorrow in her eyes, the new lines around her forehead – lines of pain and grief. He hadn't been there for her, all his promises had come to nothing. He had failed in promising to take care of her.

'I'm sorry Peyt… but I'm here for you now,' he said softly stroking her blonde curls.

'I didn't…' she said, her voice a broken whisper.

'You need to rest,' he urged. 'You should…'

'I didn't… I didn't want to die…' she stammered.

'Okay…' Lucas smiled his smile that without really knowing, he reserved only for her. He did not really care about her words, he was only glad that she was alright.

'No… Luke… you need to know… I didn't want to kill myself…' she said. 'I just… I just didn't want it to hurt anymore…'

Lucas nodded deeply. He kissed her on the forehead. 'Rest Peyt…' he said. 'I'm gonna take care of you now… it's a promise.'


	8. Chapter 7

hey guys thanks for reading. exciting stuff going to happen next!

Chapter 7

Lucas parked his car and turned to face the woman next to him. 'So we're here,' he said smiling.

She pulled the dark glasses off her face to reveal pale skin, dark eyebags, and sadly, even darker eyes. She tried to smile back but failed and blinked back the sunlight which hurt her. She put the glasses back on and climbed weakly out of the car with the help of Lucas' strong arms.

If someone said that this was the same girl that laughed, danced and sang at a certain wedding three years ago, nobody would have believed it.

'You alright…' Lucas asked gripping her thin arms such that all her weight was put on him. The sun was shining but her skin was cold. He put his jacket around her small shoulders and helped her onto the front porch and onto the bench. He fluffed up a few pillows to try and make her more comfortable.

'You want a blanket? A drink or something?' he asked. Peyton shook her head as she took in her surroundings in a half-dazed manner.

'I'm going to go fetch the rest of your stuff but Karen's next door if you need anything alright?' he said. 'I'll just be a few minutes.'

Peyton watched him as he ran down the path and into his BMW. 'Lucas!' she called out suddenly. He turned around and gave her a gentle nod. 'Thank you,' she said slowly. He waved back and drove off.

'_I suppose that's it then,' she murmured as she signed out at the hospital reception. 'You'll drive me back to Savannah right?'_

'_To Savannah?' Lucas asked._

'_If you don't mind that is' she said quickly. 'if not I can always get a cab or something…' she mumbled._

'_You're not going back to Savannah.' _

'_I'm not?' Peyton looked up at him with eyes full of confused surprise._

'_You're not,' he repeated firmly. 'You're going to live with me, in Tree Hill that is. I bought Bevin's house yesterday, she and Skittle are moving to Hawaii.'_

_Peyton turned and stared at this tall smart-looking man dressed in a suit next to her. In many ways he looked like a stranger, so different from the scrawny boy who had played high school basketball while she cheered on the stands. Yet in his eyes was the same Lucas Scott, who had always been for her, nothing short of her personal guardian angel._

_She pulled him close and wrapped her arms around him, pulling so hard he almost fell over as he patted her arms gently, comfortingly._

Lucas' cell phone that he had left on her lap just in case began to ring. Peyton picked it up, the flashing name there said 'Brooke Babe'. She picked it up gingerly.

'Hello?'

'Hey Peyton it's Brooke… how're you doin?'

'Oh… I'm umm fine… Lucas' just left he…'

'Oh no problem… you settled in alright?'

'Yep I hope you don't mind…'

'Me? Mind what? Of course not! Just tell Lucas I have to finish some business in New York I'll call him when the stuff's settled?'

'Oh yes… okay I'll tell him.'

'Great, love ya Peyton. Take care alright?'

'Okay… bye.'

'Bye!'

Peyton put the phone down next to her. She watched the children go by on their bicycles, singing, laughing. Sometime in the hospital she had learned to close off the emotions inside her, to not think about that which caused her pain. Now it left her in a more peaceful place, but she felt somewhat numbed, as if watching her own life being played out from the outside. Brooke's phone call had displaced her from her passive existence a little.

She sat quietly, deep in thought.

--------------------------------

'So let's eat,' Karen said smiling.

'Yes I'm starved!' cried Carey, Karen's 4 year old daughter and Lucas' half-sister.

Karen and Lucas both laughed. Peyton tried her best to pull out a smile. 'Thank you for this lovely meal Karen,' she said slowly.

'Oh there's no need to thank me,' Karen said. 'Carey and I can never finish and Lucas never bothers to come back and eat dinner with us…'

'Mom!' Lucas argued.

'Well it's true isn't it?' Karen said. 'Anyway no more arguments let's eat.'

There was a moment of silence as they all tucked into the spaghetti bolognaise, excluding Carey's vigorous chewing of her portion of spaghetti. She felt extremely pleased to be eating with the grown-ups. Usually she only had her Mommy but today they had a guest – and such a pretty one with her blonde curls. Her own hair was dark and straight and she hated it. But Mrs. Jageilski had very sad blue eyes, and Mommy said that it was because she had lost her Mr. Jageilski the same way Mommy had lost Daddy a long time ago. She had lost Daddy too but it didn't hurt as much 'cos she didn't know at the time. Carey wished she could make the pretty lady's eyes happy so she tried smiling at her as slurped up her spaghetti.

Peyton ate quietly for the first few minutes before she noticed the little girl next to her obviously trying to get her attention. She kept scooping up her food on her plastic spoon, then stealing glances at her, then opening her mouth wide to stuff the spaghetti in, then stealing glances at her then repeating the whole process all over. After awhile Peyton found herself giving out a tiny smile without realizing it.

Lucas watched as his sister worked her childish magic on Peyton and was delighted in his heart that she had gotten her to let out a smile – even a tiny one. The past week living in a silent house had been agony for him. Not knowing what to do or say to take away the pain in Peyton's heart. 7 weeks since Jake had died. In 7 weeks Peyton had broken down, given up her stepdaughter, overdosed, been admitted into hospital, been discharged and moved to a new town. In the hospital Lucas could tell Peyton was happy about moving in with him, but the past week had left him with his doubts. Maybe Carey's magic would help him out.

'Carey stop disturbing Mrs. Jageilski and eat your dinner,' Karen said breaking all three of their thoughts. Peyton looked up and smiled, catching Lucas' eye.

'I'll go get dessert,' he said cheerily standing up.

'Dessert? Woo hoo!' Carey cried in glee.

This time as the three Scotts laughed, Peyton managed a small smile quite easily and for the first time in 7 weeks, managed to finish an entire plateful of food without feeling nauseous.


End file.
